Weekend update, November 3, 2012

Since Eve ate apples,
much depends
on dinner.
                                     Lord Byron

I wonder, given the above observation, if Lord Byron, (who had a reputation for being "mad, bad, and dangerous to know") would think, as I do, that

"What's for dinner?"

 may be the oldest important question in the world.

(Followed closely,at least in the biblical narrative, by

"Where are you?" and

"Why don't I have any clothes on?")

 Apples! One of my favorite food groups! A variety of colors and flavors and textures that make them endlessly interesting, and a nutritional punch that is the stuff of legend! And thanks to modern methods of growing and transporting produce, I'm no longer limited to the 2 or 3 varieties that were available in my youth, I get to try this one, this one, this one, this one, that one.......

a mile long apple buffet!!!

The pic's from a recent trip to Dallas Central Market, where I counted 31 (THIRTY ONE!!) different kinds of apples. I walked slowly past each bin in a kind of appley trance of delight, and suddenly, I wondered:

"ummm, hey, Am I crazy, or do some of these apples have names that sound like, um...exotic dancers?"
And so began another unlikely adventure in a grocery store.

Because at that little, internal question, a B grade, fruit-filled film noir started playing in my head.........

(cue fade out....cue swimmy fade out music)

scene opens: thick skinned detective Mac Intosh has heard his partner, Jon A'gold, has taken a fall.

(cue the anxious violins)

Mac (in voice over):

I'm Mac. Mac Intosh. My partner Jon was last seen here, at the Orchard Club. Yeah, it's just one of a bushel of clubs in town, but the girls here are real pips, and Jon had taken a real shine to one of 'em. I just didn't know which one.

Current owner of the club? Golden Delicious. Once upon a time, she was one of the only acts in town. Now, she's a tough old apple who'd inherited the business from her granny Smith.

Golden Delicious: Listen, Mac. I got a bunch a good apples here, ain't none of  them that ain't got a core a gold. You can talk to em, but don't get fresh, you hear?

Mac: ( in voiceover)I talked first to Aurora. Seemed to me she was just Jon's type- tall, blonde and saucy.

Mac: Tell me the truth Aurora- you had your stem in a twist for Jon, didn't ya?

Aurora: You don' know nuthin' Mac. I ain't goin' mushy for no guy. Your friend Jon was soft on Sweet Tango if ya ask me. Talk to her, why don't cha?

Mac: ( in voiceover) so I did. Sweet Tango was a little dark red cutie from south of the border, the sort of apple a guy will fall far from the tree for, if you know what i mean....



Mac: Level with me, Tango. What happened to Jon?

Sweet Tango: (in a latin accent) Ah, the Jonagold. What a beautiful apple! So sweet, so tart. We all loved him, you see? But I was waiting the tables at the pie shop on the night he disappeared. You must ask the Pink Lady. I saw them talking in the dark corners three nights ago.

Mac: (in voice over) A talk with the appealing Pink Lady it was then, but I was running out of patience. And running out of time..... 

Mac: See here, Pink- I've been gettin the runaround from you girls all night! Out with it! What happened to Jon Agold?

Pink Lady: Cut it out Mac! You know my feelings bruise easily! Sure, I was talkin with Jon. But only cause he'd gone all pie-eyed over  my best friend Honey Crisp, and I knew he was hangin around some low branches with some pretty wormy apples. I was warnin him off, was all. I told Honey that night that Jon was a bad apple, that she should leave him- there are lots a apples in the basket, ya know?

Mac: She take your advice?

Pink Lady: I don't know Mac, she'd been acting like someone pressed all the cider outta her since he went missin, and she won't talk to me .

Mac: (in voiceover) So I went lookin for Honey Crisp,sure in my core that she'd have some answers.

Mac: Look, Honey. I know Jon was sweet on you. Where is he? What happened?
Honey Crisp: Oh applesauce, Mac! I wish I knew! I'm about to split my skin with worry! He told me I was the apple of his eye, and then went off with two wormy, rotten thugs. Do you think they iced him, Mac? Do you think he's....A la Mode?....Mac, you gotta find him! Mac.....Mac....Mac....

(cue swimmy music, cue fade out, return to grocery store)
Mam?... Mam?....Mam?
It was the produce guy, looking at me with a helpful smile.
"Do you need help finding anything?"
"Um..sure" I answered.
"Can you help me find an apple named Pacific Rose?"

You're all going to let me know, right, if I missed even one bad apple pun?

We did actually do more this week than play dress-up with apples- we cooked with some too-  a nice not too unhealthy thing called apple chai pie-

As soon as I figure out the recipe, I'll post it.

We tried the shrimp stuffed pumpkin recipe, this time in small(ish)  kabacha squash, and I'm pretty sure that from now on, a one serving sized squash is the way I'll be cooking this. It cooked faster, was WAY easier to serve, and as a bonus, looked better too.

funnest Halloween menu ever!
Do you think those shrimps look a
little like fingers?

Guys, I hope that as you collect memories of this weekend, that you find some Honeycrisp moments- moments as ordinary in their beauty and as beautiful in their ordinariness as a perfect apple .

  I hope that this week, you're able to hold those memories with you, as if in the palm of your hand, and that they shimmer through any lonliness or exhaustion like stars on a cloudy night.

back on wednesday with menu ideas-