Menus, october 8

In normal life, "simplicity" is synonymous with "easy to do,"

 but when a chef uses the word,

 it means "takes a lifetime to learn".

Bill Buford 

Have you ever wished for line item veto powers on quotes and ideas? Mine would be exercised on the first clause of this quote. Because "simple" is very rarely synonymous with "easy". 

"Change the tire, he said. It's simple, he said...."

Bill Buford's second clause? That in chefspeak simple is code for "takes a lifetime to learn"?  Spot on. More spot-onier than

this guy in a polka-dot suit.

I know this because whenever a competitive cooking show is on and the judges lay down a challenge that includes the word egg, I groan aloud in sympathy for the hapless cooks who, full of hubris, approach what they think will be an easy win. Eggs! What could be (over) easier? Of course, some of them are going to wind up with

egg on their fac....Oh, never mind.
Even for me, that yolk's just too old. 

Because eggs, though they are absurdly simple, are hard. 

Witness my long, long hunt for a reliable way to hard boil them, which included soliciting advice from other egg-cooking types, like my mom:

My mom: "Anyone can boil an egg"

Me: "Not me."

(insert a phone discussion of her sure-fire method here. Cold water,brought to a boil, 12 minutes, done.)

Me: "But I can't make that work! By the time the water properly boils the eggs have been hot water for 30 minutes or more! And if I cover the pot to get the water boiling, how do I time the boiling?!? Tell me a way that guarantees a cooked yolk with no icky gray ring, a tender white, and easy peeling."

My mom: "Your boiled eggs are fine. And everybody's boiled eggs get that gray ring to the yolk."

This exchange, while it didn't teach me how to consistently boil the egg I wanted, does say a lot about the division of labor between me and several of the nearest and dearest:

I put myself on the proverbial hook,
and they let me off.
Nice.

Eventually, a chance viewing of a video by  Alton Brown taught me how to hard cook (note: hard cook, not hard boil) an egg. It's not a method that works for everyone, but it works for me.

After decades of working the kitchen gig, scoring a perfect hard cooked egg was a simple thing that was a very big deal.

And last week, I learned how to scramble an egg!!!!! 
 (And I've been scrambling eggs for mumblety mum years.) Gordon Ramsay taught his kitchen staff and (through the magic of the internet) me, his method of making fluffy, creamy scrambled eggs. The video is here, and it's great- mostly because Chef Ramsay, in focusing on the eggs, burns the toast and decides to keep the burnt toast in the video. Because he's a chef, so he knows that toast is simple

which means that getting it perfect every time
is nearly impossible.

 Our dinners this week will revolve around simple, forgiving foods- the sort that test your skills if you wish your skills tested, and yet will feed people well no matter what. 

Here's what I mean:

Wednesday: Scrambled eggs with bacon and avocado

We'll be using the bacon and avocado idea from the Martha Stewart website, but the eggs will be Gordon Ramsey's recipe. The creme fraiche that he uses may be available in your grocery, but it will be pricey. Look in the Latin Food section for crema Mexicana, or try Sour Cream (not low fat sour cream- it will separate and get watery)  A small salad or some sauteed spinach or some pan roasted cherry tomatoes will round out this meal nicely, don't you think? 

Thursday: Roasted broccoli with lemon and basil, rice and pan seared tuna.

Two missions here, should I choose to accept them- getting pan fried fish cooked and yet not dry and overcooked, and getting rice moist and not soggy. Or, maybe it's fish sticks and minute rice for dinner- who knows? I do want to try the tuna though- learning new ways with fish has been a year long kitchen goal. If you throw an extra piece of tuna in the pan, you'll have enough for a salad nicoise later this week.

Friday: Pot Roast and mashed potatoes

This brainwave is courtesy of our eldest's girlfriend Sara, who dismissed Danny's mouthwatering compliments of her pot roast by saying "It's just pot roast. What could be easier? You put meat in a pan and you throw it in the oven."

Hmmmm. 

Ree Drummond coaches  through her perfect pot roast here- one that does not include potatoes, which seems a little sacrilegious,  until she mentions her preference for mashed potatoes with pot roast- an idea that is positively amazing.

Saturday: Tuna salad nicoise

 The leftover tuna stars in this salad, but it's also a chance to show off your crazy hard cooked egg skilz. (and if you lack an audience that appreciates these things, send me a pic and I promise mass quantities of admiration). If it's gotten too cold round your table for salad, serve the fish and green beans warm and the rest of the salad on the side.

Sunday: Pot Roast Soup

I've linked a Paula Deen recipe here, but with a soup like this, a recipe is merely a springboard, not a set of rules. I'll be using the leftover pot roast and it's juices, leftover rice from Thursday, any green beans, potatoes or tomatoes from last night's salad, celery, carrots, browned onions and mushrooms. A can of stewed or diced tomatoes or a can of tomato sauce, maybe some beef broth and it's done. Bake up some cornbread or pick up a loaf of sourdough, and you've got a legendary dinner.

And simplicity is the stuff that legends are made of, isn't it?

Simple things like love, courage, strength

that take a lifetime to learn.

And I want you to know

that your efforts to get the simple things right matter.

And they keep on mattering,

through every simple hug

and simple smile

and simple game

and simple task

and simple meal.

And I want you to know that even if

(and almost certainly when)

the simplest things go horribly, terribly wrong

that there's hope.

Because sometimes, even things that are all wrong

are set wonderfully right

by the simplest things.