weekend update, December 2, 2013

The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement.
But the opposite of a profound truth
may well be another profound truth.
Niels Bohr

Oh English, you wonderful mongrel language you. We who posses this fantastic language have at the tips of our tongues an adage for every occasion. And just in case you find yourself of two minds about any particular occasion, you'll find an aphorism for both your brains- even if they're on opposite sides of the mental fence. For instance- has it ever occurred to you that

slim chance and fat chance mean
the same thing?

or, which is true- that absence makes the heart grow fonder, or it's opposite-

out of sight,
out of mind?

Consider Thanksgiving, the mighty feast that still lingers in Tupperware containers around the country. Thanksgiving falls almost directly opposite the calendar from its thematic antithesis, Independence day. The holiday we gathered around last week was, for most of us, a day to remember that we are part of an us. We gather with or remember those with whom we are irreversibly connected (or hopelessly tangled); the people who make us remember who we are, in part because they hold for us our memories- 

even if sometimes they hold
them upside down.

Thanksgiving is the un-independence day holiday. 

It's wonderfully appropriate then, that our own Thanksgiving feast was a chance to ponder the dueling truths of two apparently opposite adages: Do too many cooks spoil the broth?

I wonder which one of these five thought it was a good
idea to ask all her friends to teach her the right way to bake cookies?
My money's on the one wearing the black sweater
and the evil grin.

or, 

Do many hands make light work?
("ladies, we go together like cup goes with cake!")

As is the case with most opposing aphorisms, both are true. A kitchenful of people busy lifting lids to fiddle with, fuss over and fix each other's work is enough to spoil any soup. But when the kitchen is full of people who respect the work of each other's hands and are ready and willing to lend a hand of their own, great is the feasting.

That's what happened when my daughter and her boyfriend pitched in with Thanksgiving dinner. And by pitched in, I mean did most of the work.

here they are- a  momentary pause in a  blur of action.

Here's what ended up on the table after three hours or so in which I frequently thought "There are three of us in this kitchen. I thought too many cooks were supposed to spoil the broth, but this is actually quite fun. And wow, is stuff ever getting done!"

First, an appetizer that a few of the family tried and loved on a recent trip, eggplant caponata:

looks a little messy, but really nice on crackers
or crostini. If you rejoice at every new way
to enjoy eggplant, give it a try.

Liz's willingness to cut the corn off of a few cobs saved Ina Garten's corn pudding from the undeserved "meh" rating I'd given it when I'd tried it with frozen corn:

sort of like a corn quiche- a delicious side dish for this feast
that would also be great at a barbecue.

Liz tossed pan roasted some asparagus in garlic, then tossed it with lemon juice, lemon zest and parmesan to give us a bright green side-

She says this method works just as nicely on broccoli.

Cody labored diligently over the star of the show, Gordon Ramsay's roast turkey. Amazing. I regret being a little in awe of the finished bird- I stood there staring at it when I should've been reaching for a camera. Here's the fantastically juicy meat on a plate:

Cody's word of warning: get yourself a good meat thermometer, a digital one if possible.

And rely on this                                                          not this                                                   or this.

When Cody took the bird's temperature a full hour before it was due to finish roasting, it was over 165- fully done. If he'd gone by the clock and roasted it the extra hour, we would have, in Cody's words, been eating Turkey Jerky.

For dessert, along with a pecan pie and a really good chocolate layer thing from Costco,

pumpkin whoopie pies. 
Liz's doing. They sort of magically appeared
when no one was looking.

And there was more, of course, as people gathered and brought together a family and a feast. And I hope no matter where you were, or who you were with, that you shared good food and good company.

And as you work your way

through this week

In those moments when life 

becomes a group project

(and life is mostly a group project)

I hope you find yourself surrounded 

by people who love you

who respect you

who know how to have your back

without putting your back up.

People who make you a part of an us,

even if the us

is a blending of unlikely opposites.